Lost, Broken, and Confused
by Fall-Child-08
Summary: Ginny is broken...so completely broken....Mature matters involved not sex at least not yet.  DracoGinny ...Chapter 2 is finally up
1. Blood, Sweat, and Tears

**A/N: I'm not sure if I'm going to leave this a one shot or not. I have some ideas to continue it'll depend on reviews!**

Disclaimer: This goes for all chapters of the fic if I continue it..I do not own Ginny or Draco or Harry potter or any other of JK Rowling's characters. I only own the plot and any fictional characters I decide to throw in.

Malfoy had done it agian ,Ginny thought as she took the jagged piece of mirror and made smooth lines of blood appear across her arm mixing with the tears that now freely fell from her red blotched face. She sighed at the release, smiled even, letting all of her frustration, her anger, and her depression seep out of her skin in a crimson form.

**_This_ was her addiction.**

He had done this to her at least once a week calling her a blood traitor..calling her filth. She knew she was trash, she knew she was poor, she knew she was ugly with her hideous freckles and her fiery red hair that seemed so bland this time of the week. She would never be pretty enough, smart enough, or rich enough. She was Weasley all the way through and he made her hate that. He made her despise her family name and sometimes even her own flesh and blood, the only men who had ever cared for her besides her father... her brothers.

Ginny slowly sobbed watching the thick blood dry and crust around the cuts on her arm. There were several this time he had hurt her tremendously. Usually it was only once or twice but this time she could barely tell the new scars from the old ones, there were so many and they were deep this time. If anyone had looked at them close enough they may have mistaken them for spelling out his name, his last name, the thing that got him everything and allowed him to treat the poor girl the way he did. Spelling out M-A-L-F-O-Y was not something she did purposly it was something that her subconcance had done and that she still did not realise. It was here that she sat in the third floor in the girls bathroom wishing he would fall off the edge of the earth, wishing that someone would notice her fake smiles and really see the pain that she kept so well hidden from her friends and her family. But no one was there when he said and did the things that made her wince and cringe. No one was there, not really, sure they mouthed things back in retort but Ginevra just gave him the cold shoulder or stared at him trying not to let the tears brim her eyes until he was out of sight. Even when he meant no harm and just passed her speaking to his friends or sent a smirk her way she cringed. Ginny was glad that no one ever followed her after his traditional abuse of her ego because if they would they would see her broken... returning to the same stall, in the same bathroom, on the same floor inflicting his words upon herself, making sure that the physical pain, the euphoria, masked the emotional pain that had torn her to pieces everyday.

**He _was_ her addiction.**

His gaze captured her, those stoney heartless eyes. Ginny shuddered. She once wondered how he could be so emotionless, so unforgiving. She understood part of him now though...for now when she looked into the mirror and saw those same stoney eyes, yes his are grey and her's are a murky brown, but they were still emotionless, numb, and unforgiving as ever. She felt as though she was becoming him...she _knew_ that she was becoming him. Ginny often wondered what or who had broken Draco down to this soul-less creature? What had made him so heartless? So cruel? Is this how Lucius treated him? she pondered, prehaps his own mother was cold to him.

Ginny had never been depressed or broken, not until he came into her life, always slipping in and out at the worst times. Ginny wanted to plea to him, to beg him, to show him what he did to her. The damage that he had, as she looked at hit, forced her to inflict upon her temple, her body, her very soul. Her entire being had been broken like glass of milk dropped onto a hard wood floor, completely shattered its contents gone. This is what Ginny wanted him to see, a helpless girl fighting with her emotions and stuggleing to get through each day. She wanted him to see what was once a bright young woman broken into a million tiny pieces, to see exactly what he had done and that is exactly what she planned on doing.

**A/N: Continue or not? What did you think? Remember to REVIEW or there will be no more! CC is always welcome!**


	2. Mock Quidditch

_**A/N: Okay so this isn't much and it took me a while to get this far but I wrote first chapter out of anger and frustration and this one well...was not written that way so it took me a while..I'm having a bit of writers block with all of my fics so please be patient as I have school to deal with too and a new found social life lol.**_

Ginny quickly cleaned her wounds over the sink and gathered her school things at the realization that it was now lunch time and that she had missed "Care of Magical Creatures" completely. _Oh well_ she thought, _I'll just tell Hagrid that I was sick or something,_ as she made her way sluggishly toward the Great Hall. Ginny peaked her head into the Great Hall and saw him sitting there laughing with his arm around Pansy Parkinson's shoulder. Ginny shuddered and suddenly felt a sickness in the pit of her stomach and turned to leave only find herself face to face with her good-for-nothing-but-forcing-her-to-eat pig of a brother Ron.

Ron slipped his arm over her shoulder, "Now, now Ginny you're not skipping lunch are you? You already missed breakfast."

Ginny gave him an icy glare and sarcastically said, "Wow, you actually realized I was gone? I'm amazed."

Ron glared back at her and rolled his eyes, "Harry was wanting to talk to you earlier and we couldn't find you ...actually you've been skipping meals more and more Gin what's going on with that?"

"Oh my Gods Ron! Are you so thick that you don't realize that I have **SCHOOL WORK** that has to be taken care of?! Just come off of it and get to the point where you say you're going to owl Mum if I don't talk to you, then go whine to Hermione until she gets it out of me! You do it all the time anyway. You are the worst of all Ronald, even Fred and George know when to just leave stuff untouched. "

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go see what Harry wanted." Ginny turned to enter the Great Hall but was roughly jerked backwards by her brother.

"Ginny what is wrong with you?! It's not like I was playing twenty questions with you. Calm down already and lets go eat together with our friends."

"Correction Ron. YOUR friends. Now let go of me you're hurting me" Ginny yanked her arm away from his grip and stalked off into the Great Hall.

The ceiling reflected a clear day with a few white clouds here and there with some yellow birds soaring about. Perfect pitch conditions Ginny noted to her self as she took a seat between Harry and Seamus Finnigan. The table greeted her with hellos then turned and continued their separate conversations. Ginny didn't grab any food but only took a goblet of pumpkin juice and sipped it while listening and nodding to Harry and Hermione's discussion. Though Ginny wasn't quite sure what it was about as her mind was else where for a brief while wondering if the pitch would be open after she finished her lunch but her thoughts were interrupted by someone shaking her shoulder.

"Ginny...Ginny! GINNY" Harry raised his voice and began to shake her he had been trying to speak to her for several minutes now and was getting annoyed by her lack of attention.

"hmmm? what?" Ginny looked at Harry not really caring what he wanted.

"I was trying to tell you that our Quidditch game against slytherin has been moved up to this Saturday so we're having another practice in thirty minutes. You do have a free period right?"

Ginny nodded and gave Harry a weak smile as he turned back to his lunch obviously satisfied with her gesture. The truth was that Ginny's heart sank the second Slytherin was mentioned. This meant that she would be near him, only inches from him at times. Ginny felt sick at the thought and quickly ran to the nearest lavatory where she emptied the contents of her stomach in the toilet. Ginny finally clutched her stomach in pain with tears streaming down her face as she finally began to dry heave and gag. Ginny hated that someone had this much control over her and he didn't even know it. Her body ached now and thoughts of skipping practice came her mind but she pushed them away. She needed this...she needed to get him off of her mind and Quidditch would do just that.

The pitch was spectacular this afternoon there was a perfect breeze blowing and sun shown down on her creamy skin. Ginny took in a deep breath as she walked toward the Gryffindor team. Yes this is exactly what she needed right now. Things happened as they usually did Harry gave his usual pep talk to everyone then they were told to ascend into the air for a mock match.

Ginny grabbed her broom and lifted into the air a sudden and strong breeze blew her hair away from her face. The feeling of flying for the first time was nothing that Ginny had felt before it was pure bliss and adrenaline, this time was no different. As the game began Ginny felt free for the first time in weeks. To her dismay this didn't last for long because before Ginny knew it the sky was full of dark clouds and a loud clap of thunder told the team that practice would be ending early. Harry called to the team and announced that practice was over and that they all needed to head to the changing rooms then straight back to the castle. Ginny lowered herself to the ground, but had no intention of changing, she removed herself from the broom and let it fall to the ground with a silent thud. The pitch was empty now, the sky was dark, and it began to sprinkle as a light mist appeared in the stands. It was one of the most beautiful sights Ginny had ever witnessed. She sank to the ground and slowly laid back on the wet lush grass, she closed her eyes and let the rain beat down on her slender body soaking her through and through. It felt as though she was coming down from a bad high now, and silently the thoughts of the past months creeped into her mind and tears began to roll down her cheeks mixed with the rain. She was glad for this, crying was a weakness, emotion was weakness, no one could see her weakness in the rain.

"Shouldn't you be inside? It's getting cold out here." The voice sent chills through Ginny, she didn't want to open her eyes as she knew that he was standing over her.

"Please go away." Her voice cracked as the words were spoken. Ginny was afraid of the silky words that might come from Draco's mouth next.

"Why should I Weasley?" Draco sneered, "The pitch is open to anyone who wants to be here rain or shine. Shouldn't you be chasing after Potter? Oh, wait he won't give you the time of day will he?"

Draco laughed and Ginny opened one eye only slightly hoping that Draco wouldn't notice. The next thing Ginny witnessed was Draco extending his hand to her.

_**A/N: There you have it...Plz review and I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible...**_


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